Things that were just things begin to have meaning when you associate them with those you love. Butterflies and sunflowers are two such things for me.
A dear friend who had also lost her baby to miscarriage a few years ago named her baby Pulelehua which means butterfly in Hawaiian. Whenever we saw butterflies we would think of our little babies playing together in heaven. Now butterflies also remind me of little Fisher. Three butterflies are extra special to me. The first one was from Donna, the nurse at the hospital who checked me in for Fisher's birth. Although we only saw her those first few hours, she made an incredible impact on our experience there. Not only was she kind and supportive, but she also painted a beautiful butterfly for Fisher. Another butterfly was drawn by Sophie who gave it to me the day she came to meet Fisher. It is a happy butterfly in a lovely garden. A third, silver colored butterfly came with a bouquet of pale pink roses from dear friends. They are all very different but, they all remind me of the love of friends and especially Fisher's sweet spirit.
Sunflowers! I love them. I'm so glad Sarah thought to bring them to my home after Fisher died. When I walked in the livingroom I saw the bright yellow blooms and felt a surge of joy. Yellow is such a happy color. It's wonderful to have it around to lighten my mood. Last week Kyle gave me an umbrella with a huge sunflower print on it. I almost cried when I saw it. He explained he had seen a woman walking by the road with an umbrella like it and knew it would be perfect for me. It is. I love sunflowers because they now symbolize the incredible joy I expect to feel when I am with Fisher again.